


Sometimes, Love isn't Enough

by GoldSpectrum



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: A few more characters/tags/relationships I want to add, A lot - Freeform, A type of torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And she's not going to let anyone stop her, Anger, Angst, F/M, Felicity doing what she wants, Felicity feeling things, I'm Sorry, Injury?, Not sure about the smut or not, OR WILL IT, Pain, S2 Arrow with a tiny twist, Soulmarks, Soulmate AU, You might hate Oliver in this, because if there is it might not be between the ones you want, but I'll add as the story progresses, first multi chapter fic, just going to leave it explicit for now, might, not so tiny, not sure yet - Freeform, pining?, you'll see when you read it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-10-26 15:25:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10789404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldSpectrum/pseuds/GoldSpectrum
Summary: A mark. In this world, it defines you. And who you are with your partner.Felicity's been searching all around for the one that'll bring meaning to her mark. And she found him.But after being around him for so long, she wonders why she was given the mark at all.*I kinda don't like this summary, so it will be changed soon* O_O





	1. Ceasefire

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I had a bunch of ideas for a new fic that I wanted to start writing, because ever since my first one, I've never stopped. A lot of my ideas didn't pan out, until this one. Soulmates Universes are one of my favorite and I wanted to do my own take on it. It's probably going to be a fairly long ride, so I really hope you'll stay and enjoy it. If you've read soulmate fics before, you'll have a fairly easy time understanding this I'm pretty sure. This picks up at around a few episodes after Season 2's Midseason finale, and close readers will realize that I might have changed a few canon events for the story purposes :P. As for updates, I have my 2nd chapter planned out, but I can't give an exact date. But, I think I can say that you won't have to wait more than 2 weeks for an update ;)
> 
> Thanks for all my Tumblr buds for all the inspiration and encouragement you've given me!  
> Here's my Tumblr if you guys wanna come on and say Hi!  
> @arrowfan437

_ This was the right choice. She wasn’t making a rash decision _ . 

Taking a deep breath, she parked her Mini to the spot nearest to the hospital and stared at the windshield. She saw the bustling city in front of her, cars honking and rushing through the street, and city folk walking on the sidewalk, some aimlessly, others with a purpose. 

She spotted a couple holding hands and walking to an ice cream truck. They looked so tall. The girl had beautiful brown blonde hair and as the wind swept through her curls, she saw her face. She had a bright smile on her face and Felicity knew that girl was happy. 

Just as a sob was about to tear through her, a sharp pain jolted through the back of her right shoulder and she gasped in pain. She rushed her hand toward the area and remembered why she was here.

_ My mark.  _

She closed her eyes and visualized the arrowhead on her right shoulder. It had a line of code  inscribed between the rough, black edges. She never bothered to search up the meaning of the symbols, until that day. 

As she turned around and looked at the back seat, another red-hot shock made its way towards the mark and she felt her arm go limp. She stared at the backseat as tears slowly blurred her vision. 

She remembered the day he came to her and sat almost lifeless in the back of her car. When she drove him to the foundry and Digg got him out of the car, and when she stared at the red seeping through his dark green hoodie. She didn’t know why she felt such a bone-deep fear for this man at the time. She barely knew him. He came to her cramped-up office almost every Wednesday asking for such strange favors and when she stared into his eyes, she would just comply.

And then when he woke up, she saw it. 

An arrowhead with the same string of code. The skin below it was mottled and looked almost like a swollen red, but she knew that it was the one. 

_ Her mark. _

And then as fast as her anger coursed through her veins, it had dissipated. She got a glimpse of his pain and she didn’t want to give him anymore. He didn’t know about all the pain he had caused her. And at the time, she didn’t want him to know. 

She had decided to help him then, because she knew he couldn’t do this alone. And apparently, because she had found her soulmate. 

So she waited. She stood by him while he found solace with other women, because she knew that something like this would overwhelm him. And she thought she could take the pain.

And before she knew it, she fell in love.

Felicity didn’t know what did it for her exactly. She really didn’t. It might’ve been the time where he said he found an alternative for killing. Maybe the way he saw him fight fearlessly for everyone he cares about. Or maybe even when he said that she could confide in him when she needed to.  And then there was his… everything else. His days-old stubble that she almost itched to run her fingers through sometimes. The tiny little mole at the corner of his mouth that she just wanted to kiss, and kiss, and kiss. And the smallest of smiles he would give to her. It was almost as if they were exclusively for her.

But she couldn’t be more delusional, she thought.

She shook her head and turned back around and cursed at the stupid meds for not bringing her relief. But she knew why. 

Because this time, she saw it with her own eyes. 

She picked her MIT hoodie from the floor of the car and flung it over her head, thinking that her red eyes would go unnoticed. She grabbed her keys, and after checking if she had her health insurance card, she opened the door of her Mini, and stared at the skyscraper in front of her with blurry eyes. 

Starling General.

She wanted the branding to stop. She couldn’t take it anymore.

“I can’t take it anymore.” Felicity whispered hoarsely.

As Felicity mindlessly walked towards the hospital doors, she thought back to the time after that time in Russia when Oliver slept with Isabel.

* * *

 

_ She looked at the bottom of her computer screen and saw the time. _

_ “Crap,” she whispered.  _

_ It almost time for them to rendezvous with Anatoly to break Digg and Lyla out, and Oliver hadn’t knocked on her door yet. She was gathering her things to make her way to his hotel room when she felt that familiar, acute pain in her right shoulder and she tripped on one of her wires. Her face met the carpeted floors and then she jumped up because of the pain that shot through her mark once again.  _

_ She remembered the plane ride and the wide-eyed expression she’d found on his face after she turned around to look at him. _

_ Felicity gave him a frown but he quickly moved his eyes from her shoulder to her face and gave her a lingering smile with a hint of something she couldn’t recognize.  _

_ After returning the smile, she turned back around and made an expression that matched his wide-eyed one.  _

_ “I forgot to cover up my shoulders,” she whispered. _

_ She brought her hand over to where her mark lied and she swore she heard a deep inhale behind her. _

_ Felicity couldn’t help a little smile escaping her then. _

_ “Maybe it was time.” she said to herself. _

_ She was snapped out of her thoughts when the splitting pain ran through her arrowhead once again. _

_ Felicity  _ **_knew_ ** _ he saw her mark, there was no other reason. _

_ So why was her mark aching like it’s done countless times before?  _

_ She let the curiosity get the best of her and she quickly wiped the tears threatening to fall. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of Oliver’s hotel door and knocking. _

_ When the door opened, she tried her hardest to stand resolute at the face in front of her.  _

_ “I think she could use a break, don’t you?” Isabel said with the slightest smile as she zooms past her. _

_ “Felicity..I..uh,” _

_ Felicity interrupts him with a quick shake of her head.  _

_ “Uh…. What happens in Russia stays in Russia.” _

_ She mulls over everything on the plane ride back, and when they’re at the office the next day she couldn’t help but asking. _

_ “Why her?” she asked with a slight tremble in her voice. _

_ “It just happened Felicity, it didn’t mean anything.” _

_ She hears him take a deep breath and the beginning of his deep, coarse voice again. _

_ “Because of the life that I lead, I just think that it’s better that I’m not with someone I could really care about.” _

_ _

* * *

 

“What bullshit,” she thought as she walked into the elevator of the east wing.

He made her believe that.

Suddenly, her mark started throbbing with an ache she never felt before, and she screamed and she fell on the floor, thrashing with her legs.

The pain whipped her back to when she was opening the door to the Foundry that night;

_ She was walking down the steps when she heard Oliver and Sara talking. _

_ “So what now?” Oliver asks.  _

_ “I don’t know. But I know one thing,” Sara replies.  _

_ “What’s that?” he says. _

_ “I’m home,” she adds. _

_ She decides to swoop her head down to the opening between the wall and railing and watches as Oliver grabs Sara by the waist and presses his lips to hers.  _

_ She shudders as she instantly feels the aching sensation running up to her mark and she clasps her mouth and slowly makes her way up the steps. She closes the door and it’s sure to make an echoing sound because as soon as the door clicks, she feels the pain subside.  _

_ But she can’t let them see her.  _

_ It’s too much.  _

_ She sprints her way out of Verdant and makes her way to her car as she tries to process everything.  _

_ It was a lie. He just never wanted me as a soulmate. _

_ She chuckles darkly, as a realization dawns on her.  _

_ This is probably the first time that Oliver Queen has rejected a girl. _

_ And it just so happened to be the girl that Fate decided were perfect for each other.  _

_ She gets in the car, everything making sense to her now. The surprised glances on the plane, the time he spent with Isabel in the hotel room, the lies just to keep her away.  _

_ Sara was someone he cared about. So why could he be with Sara and not— _

She bit her lip to stop herself from screaming and stop the thoughts running through her head. The pain was consuming her but she still managed to rise from the cold metal floor as the elevator slowly reached the 16 th floor. She pulled the hood over her head once again after rearranging her hair and then, the doors opened. 

Felicity held on to her right shoulder, trying to numb the pain resonating from her mark as she walked to Dr. Haley’s office. She called her before she came in, and Dr. Haley said that she was free today so all she had to do was walk in.

She knocked on the door, and waited.

Of course, this is the right decision.

She was stupid for even falling for that man. He would never get a good look at her. She wasn’t even worth noticing.

She thought she could take the pain. She really did. When she started on his crusade, she let him do what he wanted. Because a part of her hoped that he would notice her. And that the mark wouldn’t be the thing that was bringing them together, but them just building a bond with trust and respect that an arrowhead wouldn’t be able to explain.

It was obvious that he was repulsed by the idea of her being his soulmate. 

But she’s done waiting for him now. It’s clear he doesn’t want her, so she should just stop trying.

She’s not going to let the pain ruin her life.

_ Let him screw whoever the hell he wants. _

Just before her thoughts took a dark turn, the doorknob clicked and opened. Dr. Haley was at the door, smiling widely, but slowly dissipated as she stared into Felicity’s red-rimmed eyes.

“Felicity _ —“  _

“Hi Doctor Haley!” she said as she plastered on a fake smile and hugged her.

“Come in,” the doctor said as Felicity released her.

Felicity walked in with a slight urgency to her steps. She grabbed on to her mark as the ache ran through her again, and watched Doctor Haley sit on her computer chair and pull up her records.

“Why are you here today Felicity?” she asked as she clicked through her medical files.

_ I don’t want this anymore, she thought. This mark is superficial and all it does is remind me that he doesn’t want me. He uses his pleasure to bring me pain.  _

“It’s sick.” she whispered to herself as she brought her hand down from her shoulder to her lap.

She stared at her slightly red, wrinkled skin.

“Felicity?”

She closed her eyes at her name, a part of her wishing that it was someone else saying it.

“Doctor Haley, I _ — _ ”

She shuddered and took a deep breath before tilting her head up.

_ I don’t want that part of me anymore. _

“I need you to remove my soulmark.”


	2. Severance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey peeps! I know this is probably very long-awaited. But some time after I published my first chapter, I realized I was way in over my head. I published my first chapter because of the excitement, when really, I should've wrote a little more to be a bit ahead. I spent this time writing out up to chapter 3 and i'm in the middle of writing chapter 4 now. With school and other things, I should've told you guys and give you a heads-up. Good thing I'm not too far into the story.  
> Anyways, school's almost finished (but so is Arrow :( ), and then I'll get up to faster writing!  
> So 2-week minimum is still here.
> 
> OKAY BESIDES MY PERSONAL LIFE LISTEN TO THIS RIGHT HERE.  
> Chapter 2 has it's fair share of Oliver and Sara. It's really quick but if you really don't like it (I can't write smut at all and this is barely anything), You can skip it. ITS BARELY ANYTHING. I'M SERIOUS.  
> And depending on how you ride the angst train, this may or may not twist your insides.  
> But who knows :O  
> I'm terrible at writing anyways.
> 
> ENJOYYY!

 

Home.

Something struck him when that word fell from her lips. And it pulled him in.

The warm, familiar taste of her lips relaxed him. He had a firm grip on her waist and let the want take over.

Sara whispers a rough “Ollie,” before framing his face with her hands and running her fingers through his stubble.

He wonders how long it’s been since he’s done something like this. The physical aspect of a relationship was always the easiest to him. It didn’t require him to talk. Especially at a time like this.

He could relieve the tension that’s been building up in him with this.

Whatever this was.

He’s snapped back to reality when he hears the door of the foundry close and a small, almost unnoticeable ache the runs through his shoulders. He removes his lips from hers and gazes at her with a furrow in his eyebrows for a second before letting her go and checking on the stairs.

He stares at the door.

His eyes wander down to the padlock where the green light blinks at him, signaling that the door was locked.

“Ollie?” Sara wonders as she walks toward him.

He gives the padlock one last glance before he turns to her, surprised to see her so close.

“Sorry _—_ I thought I heard the foundry door close.” he replies.

“Oh, I didn’t hear anything.” She adds.

He gets a little closer and whispers “I’m sure you were right.” before he puts a hand on her hip and chases her lips.

She giggles into his mouth and once he feels her tongue running along the seam of his lips, he quickly grants her entrance.

He slips a hand under her ass and lifts her up, and as soon his growing erection rubs against the warmth in between her legs, he groans into her mouth.

Their lips break contact when the need for air becomes too great, but he quickly recovers and marks his lips on her neck, biting and soothing, while slowly walking towards the cot in the corner of the foundry. She silently gasps and cards her fingers through his hair as his mouth reaches the valley of her breasts.

His knees hit the cot and he eases her on to the noisy mattress as his lips find hers again.

 Before it gets any further, Sara calls him.

“Oliver?”

He keeps his lips pressed to hers and hums.

“Are you sure about this?” she whispers as she tenderly grabs the back of both of his shoulders.

Oliver stops and pulls back slightly, feeling a little lightheaded at the touch before he recovers.

He stares into Sara’s eyes, looking for something he couldn’t find in her eyes, before sighing.

“Yeah,” he says with a hint of a smile as he closes the distance between their lips.

                                         

* * *

 

 

“Hey.” Oliver said as he raised his head from her neck.

He laid on top of her, both a tangle of limbs, their chests pressed together, and blankets thrown just below Oliver’s shoulders.

“Hey,” Sara replied before grabbing his face and moving her thumb through the stubble on his jaw. She smiled at him.

“That was…interesting.” she added.

Oliver smiled slightly before bringing his head down to her neck once again. He placed small, fleeting kisses against her collarbone, while slowly drawing up his lips to her face and staring into her eyes.

He didn’t know what he was looking for in her stealthy, blue eyes. Her face was filled with warmth through her smile, but her eyes held a different story. He could see the shreds of pain, and cold that seeped throughout.

He shook his head of his thoughts before refocusing on his reply.

“It was.. fun.” He said after dropping a chaste kiss on his lips.

“So, are we doing this? Whatever… this is?” she said with a reluctance to her voice.

Oliver stared at her. He didn’t know what to say. He was feeling… wistful. But he didn’t know what it was for. Did he want this? What is this?

He put on a smile and a questioning look before releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

And he pressed his lips to hers.

Sara moaned quietly into his mouth before slowly moving her hands from his waist to his shoulders.

Before he could open his lips to hers, a shattering ache surfaced on his right shoulder.

He tore his lips from hers and before he could recover Sara rose on her elbows and asked Oliver what was wrong.

Oliver shuddered out a breathy reply before grabbing his shirt off the floor and making his way to the bathroom. He gripped onto his throbbing right shoulder after putting on his shirt to relieve the unannounced pain. After entering the bathroom, he stood in front of the mirror as another searing wave of pain made his way on to his right shoulder. He felt his blood rushing to the area as he grunted after the ache. He opened the drawer beneath the sink, praying to himself that there was something in there to relieve whatever this was. He’s never opened these drawers after first coming down to the foundry, because he’s never found a use for them. He rummaged through the fluffy white towers, and one-time packets of body wash and shampoo before he found a plastic pill holder. He looked down at the sticker labeled _Oxycodone_ and sighed in relief. His question arose when he shook it to find that it was empty.

_Why the hell was there an opioid in the foundry bathroom? We keep all our drugs in the drawers near the computers._

He stood in thought and moved his eyes up to the label with the name on it.

_Felicity Megan Smoak._

He furrowed his eyebrows at the name as he shifted his balance.

_Felicity? Why did she have a prescription of Oxycodone? And why is it in here?_

He opened his mouth in a silent gasp at the pain that shot through his shoulder with an intensity that was much greater than the ones before.  It sent him down to the floor with a shout, the cold floor a contrast to the warm blood swelling the area on his right shoulder.

_What the hell is happening? Why does Felicity have Opioids stashed in here? What is this ache on my_ _—_

_My mark._

He continues to grunt in pain as he widens his eyes at the realization.

_Felicity. She’s in danger._

He tried to stand to get to the door, but the strangest thing happened.

The pain slowly flowed out of his shoulder, and once he regained control, he quickly stood up and looked at the mirror.

He could see the streaks of red running at the back of his neck and disappearing into his dark grey tee. He moved his eyes back up to the reflection he saw on the mirror.

And stared.

He could see the darkness seeping into his eyes. A string he could feel in the deepest part of his soul. The string was always pulled taut and he never really felt it.

Until now.

Something prompted him to take off his shirt. He didn’t know what it was. What emotion was defining him at this moment.

He could feel the involuntary desperation as his fingers grazed the hem of his T-Shirt. The inevitable fall that was slowly making away to the pit of his stomach.

When he pulled it off, the string inside him vibrated.

And the fall was only beginning.

He eyed his scars briefly, the memory of all the distinct knives and bullets blurring his vision simultaneously.

He gazed upon the red streaks again through the reflection the mirror offered. As tilted his head slightly to the right, he could see that they kept going until they disappeared into the hairs that stood at the nape of his neck.

With a frustrated growl, he turned around, his back to the mirror, and turned his head to the right to look at the mirror.

His eyes slightly widened, and the darkness seeped fully into his eyes.

The string inside him snapped with a force that resonated through his entire body.

And then he realized that the fall in his stomach, had already happened. And with it, came a bone-deep anguish that settled where the fall occurred.

He stared at it, the curiosity overwhelming the distress his body was feeling.

The arrowhead that was inscribed with the line of code that he could almost swear he could decipher sometimes. It would be on the tip of his tongue whenever he looked at it. Which was crazy, because he never even learned the code language. But it was always there. The one constant in his life.

It became clearer when he found out why he had it.

And why he had to stay away at what it would try to bring him.

Because he couldn’t do that to her.

He continues to stare his swelled mark, looking at the vines of red skin starting throughout different points of his mark, traveling up to his neck. And the blood seeping through his dermis, distorting the black and dark green lines of code that defined his arrowhead.

_What is going on?_

He wipes at sudden tear that escapes his eye before turning around and straightening his posture.

He picks up the showerhead on the bathtub floor, and winces as he uses his right hand. The movement sends tiny little aftershocks up to the back of his right shoulder. He sets the water at cold, positions it over his mark, and turns it on.

He hisses as the cold water runs through his mark and down to the bathtub. The sting washes over him, and realizes that his eyes were closed the entire time.

When he opens them, his eyes follow the swirls of red that go down the drain, and once it stops, he turns off the water, He adds urgency to his actions, reminding himself that he might not be the only one that is injured. He shakes his head after he pats the area dry with the fluffy towel.

With a string of whispered curses, he takes his phone out of his pocket he puts on his shirt again.

He sends a quick text to Dig and Felicity, giving them each a different question, before running out of the foundry bathroom and silently praying that Sara didn’t have any questions.

 

* * *

 

Silence.

Felicity was grateful for it, if she was honest. She never thought she would enjoy it as much as she did now.

She looked out the car window, watching the skyscrapers, the big trucks and fancy cars, and the multitude of men and women pass by her as John drove through the city.

She turns to her head to the left, looking over at him. John senses her eyes on him, and turns his head to her for a quick smile before refocusing on the road ahead.

After all, there was always a road ahead.

She returns his smile with one of her own, albeit a small one.

It doesn’t reach her eyes, or show off her dimples.

Because she isn’t ready.

Her smile fades quickly, and as soon as it does completely, John grabs her hand wordlessly. He holds on tight, and Felicity returns the grip a little fiercely. She slowly moves her head away from John and turns to her right shoulder. She closes her eyes to visualize the arrowhead once more. But this time, all she sees is her skin, scarlet, littering with specks of black and blue.

She seems to zone out the fleeting vibration in her right pocket, because she feels relief.

The unfathomable pain, and pressure on her soul.

It was fading away.

Because she set herself free.

 

* * *

 

 

When she gets out of the car, Dig opening the door for her, she flashes through her past.

She’s heard all the proverbs.

Read about the philosophers.

Even heard her grandparents warning her about wasted time. And she’s read about the damn poets urging their readers to seize the day.

All she has to do is try for herself.

So, when she walks into the hard planes of muscle standing at the front door of her townhouse, she looks up, startled.

She stares into the familiar deep blue eyes, now stained with something dark. It’s building up like a crescendo, but his wild expression doesn’t show it.

His eyes roam through her figure, looking with a desperation she hasn’t seen before.

And she doesn’t want on her.

She averts her eyes from his face and stares at the buttons of his leather jacket with a silent expression, waiting for him to be satisfied with his search.

And then it dawns upon her.

This man, has been standing in her way.

For so long.

But not anymore.

Her empty, crimson right shoulder is proof of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm. That definitely twisted my insides.  
> Comments please O_O


	3. A Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s Notes: PEEPS! Here’s chapter 3. But first I will just apologize for the wait! I had chapter 3 done for a while and I was going to update the last week of May but I lost it. Word pooped on me and didn’t save which had me really pissed. And then, I wrote it a second time and IT did not get saved either. Which had me even more mad and I put off on writing for a while. I finally have it done and saved it no just on my desktop but on dropbox and my flash drive too! Take that!
> 
> This chapter was really hard to write and I didn’t want to get anything wrong because of what it is about. I hope you guys enjoy it. And please comment and reblog etc your thoughts! This was probably the chapter I whimpered in the most while writing. 
> 
> PS. Tagging under the cut! Tell me if you want to be tagged or untagged!
> 
> PPS. This chapter is the longest I’ve written for this story! Almost 3.5k!

Her whole life, she’s been walking a jaded, dark path. Or at least, it seems like that. She gives herself a head shake and closes her eyes as she chuckles silently. And Oliver feels her shake.

What has she been doing this whole time?

She wonders silently as she thinks about all that she’s done the last year and a hal.

She’s followed a man out of curiosity, and stayed because she fell in love. And she’s let herself be in pain for so long because she held onto some silly little vision of hope. That he would notice her. That the mark meant something for the both of them.

But she was so naive. And it was her fault really. She’s been so used to people leaving, and using her. Her dad kissing her on the forehead when she was 6, promising that he would always tuck her in before bed. And then leaving the next day. And then Cooper, befriending him, and falling into a relationship with him. And then finding out that it was just because he wanted her computer virus for his own gain.

But she knew what was different about this. This was her soulmate. And she wouldn’t have cared all this time. But Felicity grew up with all the stories of the unbreakable bond between a handful of pairs. Her grandma swept her up in them, and sometimes she _ached_ for them. She talked about how you wouldn’t feel anything from the mark until you met each other. She talked about the endless love and affection they would feel for each other. The need for protection, the care. She remembered how she said there would be unbearable pain if they met and either of them denied the bond they shared.

And then her grandma showed her the blue bird she had on her wrist.

And how it matched her Grandpa’s.

She knew from there, that she wanted the bond. With an intensity.

And that intensity multiplied through every loss and betrayal she’s faced. Because people leave. And they use and throw away. But she’s held on to the stories hoping she would meet the person that wouldn’t leave. And would shower her with the affection and care she’s heard about.

But she gets it now. No one really wants her. No one really _needs_ her. Not anyone she’s known. There’s Diggle and her Mom, but it’s different. They’ll be fine without her.

And that man, that man that’s tied to her mark doesn’t need her either. He’s given her pain to show it. He would probably grab the next IT girl that walks by at QC if she was gone.

She’s let herself stop before the road ahead. Because of a man. She clung herself to him. Tried to mold herself into his life, trying to make herself a part of him. But he doesn’t want her. And she’s grateful that it’s hit her before it’s too late.

She’s been given the chance to live her life without the pain. And the thought that maybe, just maybe, she could find someone that’ll bring her close. And never want to let her stray.

Felicity feels something bubbling up inside her at the thought.

The pain still lingers. And it won’t go away completely. But she can deal with it.

She always does. Somehow.

At that time, Felicity brings herself up to the semblance of smile.

But as soon as her lips decide to curl up slightly, she feels a cold hand slide up the side of her face and the calloused thumb at the cheek.

“Felicity…” she hears a panicked voice call.

Another hand reaches up to touch her right shoulder and she instantly recoils because she knows whose hands they are.

She grabs the one on her jaw and moves it away a little forcefully, and moves her other hand to stop the one that’s about to touch her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me Oliver.” She mumbles.

When she opens her eyes, she sees his widen fearfully, wondering why she denied his touch.

The answer’s simple, she thinks.

“Felicity, are you oka-” he starts to move his hand again towards her shoulder when she stops her with a threatening voice.

“Oliver. Move your hand away from my shoulder.”

She looks up from where his hand was retreating, watching him watch her with a expression of lament. When Oliver starts searching her eyes, she rips away quickly and moves to the side to get to her door.

The Redwood Oak brought her some relief, as well as some familiarity to her senses. It’s home to her. The townhouse she lived in was once of the best decisions she ever made ever since she moved here. Being inside would only give her more of a reprieve.

At the thought, she goes into her bag to look for her keys, and when she takes them out and tries to fit the key in, she sees a hand on her door stopping her.

And at that, her resolve cracks.

“What the hell do you want Oliver?” she argues.

His expression hardens, and she realized that something cracks inside him as well.

“Hell, I want to know a lot of things Felicity! I want to know if you’re okay! I want to know why you’re not talking to me! I want to know why you have Dig driving you home from the hospital! I want to know why you look so pale and why you’re so quiet! And I want to know why my mark-” Oliver stops. His stance weakens and he looks down because of what he was just about to say.

Felicity’s eyes squint slightly at what he was just about to say and soon morphs into anger once again.

“Because your mark what Oliver? Continue.” She asks with a furrow to her eyebrows although she already knows the answer. She crosses her arms across her chest at the cold breeze and waits.

A reply starts to work its way out of Oliver, when she realizes Dig is up the front steps already. He must’ve heard the whole exchange because he speaks up as soon as he signals for Oliver to stop with a hand on his arm.

“Something is clearly going on between the two of you, but this is not the place to work it out.” he says giving them both a glance.

“Let her open the door Oliver, and you two can work it out inside.” Diggle states with a firm voice.

Felicity tenses slightly at the thought of being alone with Oliver. She hasn’t had much time by herself to process everything that happened today. But then she realizes that this conversation must happen eventually. She’d rather have it finished now than to dread it later.

Diggle looks at Felicity, silently asks her if she’s okay with that and she nods slightly.

“I’ll be in the car.” John concluded.

He leans in slightly towards Felicity, only to whisper in her ear.

“Just tell me if it’s too much. You’re in control of where this goes.” he assures.

Felicity releases a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and visibly softens. What a relief it was to hear that she was in control. She tilts her head up at him to give him a small smile and then she feels his lips on her cheek. He lingers for a second before turning around to look at Oliver.

Felicity goes to open her door comforting exchange with John. She walks in quickly after sliding and twisting the key, readying herself for the talk she knew would only chip at her heart even more.

But she’s not going to let Oliver see that.

He’s taken enough already.

She throws her purse down on her couch and looks down at her MIT sweater.

When she hears her door click shut, she closes her eyes.

“Felicity” she hears his low voice, laced with that special something he reserves for her.

“Stop saying my name like that Oliver. Like I’m the only one that matters.” She faces him.

Oliver opens his mouth but Felicity isn’t finished.

“It’s crazy, really. If you think about it. How long I’ve been playing your game. You would think with a IQ of 170 I would learn to get a grip. But of course, you have no idea what I’m talking about. Or at least, it looks like it. It’s hard to tell. I thought I had my soulmate figured out.”

Oliver almost jumps at the word soulmate, but tampers down his fear until Felicity is finished.

“It’s fine, Oliver. Act as repulsed as you want. You don’t have to lie straight to my face, or hide anything. You’re here for the truth, and so am I. In a way. So just let me see it all. I want to.”

He furrows his eyebrows at the last few words.

“What the hell are you talking about Felicity? You think I’m repulsed by you? Do you even hear yourself right now? I came here because I needed to see if you were okay.”

“To see if I was okay?” she sputtered.

“Why wouldn’t I be okay, Oliver? What made you think I wasn’t?” she questioned.

He looks down at that before he forms a reply. But Felicity speaks up.

“Let me rephrase that: Just tell me everything that happened after you slept with Sara.” she added.

His eyebrows rose to his hairline at that, and soon that was replaced with an anger making his jaw tick at the bluntness of her statement.

“How do you know-”

“Please, Oliver. That’s not the question you want an answer to. Although, if you look at your shoulder, you’ll have it.” She said quickly with a hand up to stop him.

He stares blankly at her, wishing he knew what she was talking about. She stares back, waiting for a reply, only to see him stand still. Rubbing his fingers together, like he always does when he’s nervous or angry.

Although, she didn’t know which emotion caused it.

She shakes her head a little, to gather her thoughts, when she realized that he still hadn’t spoken.

_Guess I’ll be doing the talking._

His face blanks for a second, before looking up at her.

She sees him take a step forward, reaching his hand out. She considers his soft, beseeching blues, and she feels her insides crack. She melts at the focus in his eyes, only to realize that this is just another game he’s playing.

She shakes her head violently and steps back, seeing her tears fall at the abrupt movement.

“Stop, Oliver. Just stop trying to come near me. I know you’re not good with words, so just let me do the talking. I’ll tell you everything. But just.. leave me alone after that.” She pleaded.

His heart crushes at her words, and then she speaks again.

“Do you know that I’m your soulmate?” she asks.

He nods slightly.

“How long have you known? Since the plane ride to Russia? Or even before?” she says.

He shifts in his place, before answering with a soft voice.

“I’ve known since you and John came back for me on Lian Yu. When I saved you from the landmine, you had your hand on my shoulder, and I felt-”

Hurt marred her features for a split second before she put on her mask again and interrupted him.

“That’s all I asked for.” she said in what he read as a disgusted tone.

Felicity searched through his figure, the hurt coming up to change her facial expression once again. She seems to have come to decision when she releases her breath and turns around.

 

 

* * *

 

 

He gulps and furrows his eyebrows as she brings her hands to the hem of her sweater, and lifts it up over her shoulders.

Oliver shudders lightly at the sight of her peachy skin peeking through her top. He didn’t quite know why, but shakes the thought off as his eyes inadvertently moves up to her right shoulder.

He tenses immediately. He feels a sharp pain at his mark and clamps his mouth shut to hide the pain.

And then, his face crumples. A slight whimper escapes him as he studies the crimson, empty skin that covers her right. He sees little specks of black and blue cover the area.

He tries to walk over to her, but stops himself before he can take that first step.

_Her mark is gone? How?_

A wave of panic settles over him at the thought of someone hurting her like this.

“Felicity… how did this happen? Did someone do this to you? Is that why you were at the hospital?”

He sees her bring her sweater back down from the top of her shoulders and waits for a reply.

“Who did this to you?” he growls. He feels his anger seeping through, mixing with his protective instincts for her.

_Someone hurt Felicity._

He was about to grab Felicity’s arm again, when she turns around and finally speaks back.

“Who did this to me? Oliver, it _was_ me!” she yells.

His whole body goes limp at that, but his mark jumps at her words, another wave of shock running through it.

She removed her mark.

He feels dread settle in his stomach and his heart in his throat, unable to speak.

A wave of silence passes over them, before Oliver finally speaks in a broken voice.

“Felicity… you removed your mark? Wh-"

“Don’t, Oliver. Don’t act like you don’t know why,”

“Wha… What do you mean?” Oliver stutters.

“Did you feel anything when we first met? Anything. I felt a lot of things that day. But one thing I didn’t get was how I trusted you so fiercely. We barely knew each other. Until I saw your mark that night you got shot.”

Oliver stares into her eyes while she continues.

“I saw your mark, Oliver” she says softly.

“You were my soulmate. So, the logical option was to stay. Right? I found the person that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with.”

“But he wasn’t ready for news like that. It was the least of his worries. He was back from purgatory, and he’s lost so much. He had a mission to save the city. He thought he was broken, battered, and bruised. Inside and out. So I did stay. I wanted to help him. He didn’t need to do it alone.”

“And as cheesy as it sounds, I fell in love with him.”

He takes in a breath at that, but his muscles relax at the words and the soft tone.

“And I didn’t tell him about how my mark would send shocks of unimaginable pain whenever he slept with someone. Or even kissed them.”

His eyes widen at what she just said, feeling something drop in his stomach, just like in the bathroom at the foundry.

“Because I could take it. I could take the women he started a relationship with, because what we had would be better. All those flings meant nothing. And just because it was a fling, doesn’t mean I had a right to come between it.

“But when we went to Russia on the plane, and you just, you _saw it._ You saw it Oliver. You saw ou.. my mark and you didn’t say anything.”

“And then you slept with Isabel. After you saw it Oliver. But apparently you saw it on the Lian Yu, which was even earlier.” She continued quietly.

“Felicity, What do you mean your mark hur-“

“I didn’t get it at first. When I tripped on those wires in the hotel room I wondered why my mark started hurting. And that was the first time my meds for it didn’t work.” She interrupted

He flashes back to the Oxycodone he found in the foundry bathroom, when she speaks again.

“And then you said you didn’t want to be with someone you cared about. I shouldn’t have been avoiding the truth that day. I should’ve just asked you why you slept with her after you saw my mark. And all the extra pain would’ve just ended if I did. I wouldn’t have thrashed on the floor of the hospital elevator, screaming in pain when you slept with Sara. I would’ve just walked out of the foundry when I found the both of you down there. Because my mark would’ve been gone already.

His heart continues to sink, the image of Felicity in an elevator, alone, and in pain bringing a choked sob out of him.

“But I didn’t. And you did sleep with Sara, just now. And something must’ve happened to your mark when I was removing mine, at the hospital. Which is why you’re here.

“Sara’s someone you care about, isn’t she? The lie is pretty easy to spot now. And god forbid, I don’t think you would _willingly_ cause me pain if you knew. But you did. And you did it _twice_.

Oliver started to shake his head aggressively at the thought that he would _ever_ cause her pain, and began to speak.

“Felicity, I didn’t kno-” he starts but Felicity interrupts him again.

“When will I matter? When will someone need me? Genuinely need me?” she chokes.

“People always use me, and leave me. And I’ve been searching for someone who’ll just _stay._ And hold me, and they’ll say they can’t live without me. Isn’t that what a soulmate is?” she whimpered.

After a few moments, she sobers up a little, and let out a dark chuckle as she spoke.

“I’ve been clinging to all these stories my Grandma used to tell me as a kid. About how when you meet that person, the electricity will just make its way into them room. And you’ll just ache to see each other again. And when you’re together, you’ll love them so fiercely. And feel so protective, and possessive. And you’ll never want to let them go.” Felicity notes.

Felicity shook her head with a small uptick of her lips with the image of her Grandma. Then, she wipes her tears away and looks up at the man before her.

“I spent the past year and a half trying to weave myself into your life. I stood and watched, took the _physical_ pain of you being with other women, because I thought that it would be worth it. That the one _destined_ to be with me wouldn’t be another one. Another one who doesn’t put me first. I know it sounds selfish, but it’s something I so _desperately crave._ ” She disclosed.

“But I am not that type of a person. I’m not a person that defines themselves through a man. Or tries to. That is not me. I’m my own person.”

“And this,” - she points to her shoulder, “It doesn’t mean anything. All it does is give me pain. Pain that I don’t deserve.” She admitted.

Oliver continues to stare at her, with a few tears dripping down his cheeks and through his stubble, dropping down onto his lap. He’s speechless at her words, and loathes himself for being so _stupid._ And he can’t seem to form a response. To anything. Because none of it will amount to anything.

“So, no Oliver. I’m not okay. But I will be.”

“Because even though I can take care of myself, just the _mere idea_ of finding everything I want in one person is _destructive._ And I’ll be damned if I make the mistake of losing myself in a person that doesn’t love me. Utterly and Inconceivably.” She says with a finality to her voice.

 

 

 

>  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How was that peeps!? Comment please! Feed my soul. It keeps me going! Oh yeah and I'll definitely be picking up the pace after this chapter. Just needed everything to be clear.


	4. Lost and Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. Hope everyone is having a great summer. So yeah. It's August. And the last time I updated was in June. UHHHHH. 
> 
> I would call it summer laziness, and it partly is. But the beginning of this chapter was very difficult for me to write, and inner me won and I ended saying I would do it almost everyday, but then the amount of emotional energy that was required was just blehghfhadaksdl. Oliver is very hard to write, and making him express his feelings in writing is even harder. BUT ITS DONE. I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE WAIT.
> 
> This chapter hopefully answers a few questions as to why Oliver did what he did, and it's a pretty simple answer.
> 
> And you will notice that some canon events are shifting (obviously). And seeing Oliver's inner thoughts are LEGIT AMAZING. You can't even read him by his face. He's like a book that's snapped shut. A certain blonde has the key ;)))
> 
> LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE WRITTEN PEOPLE. ENJOY THE MEAT. (Sorry if you're Vegetarian :P)

Oliver loosens his tie, letting out a deep breath when he pushes the door of the Queen Manor until it clicks shut. 

He leans against the door for a second, his forehead pressed against it. The slight sting of the cold brought miniscule relief to the migraine he was sporting. 

It's been two weeks. Two weeks since that day he fucked it all up. That stupid thing with Sara that never should've happened.  

And Felicity. 

He clenched his eyes shut at the thought of her. Her eyes red through the tears, her soft voice, filled to the brink with pain and hurt and so many other unspoken emotions.  

And  _he did it._  

 _He did it._  

He slammed his fist on the door, hearing the wood shudder at the sheer anger and strength he felt at the moment, the sound resonating through the walls.  

"Oliver?"  

He hears his Mom's slightly panicked voice call out. 

Moira calling his name once again brings him out of sulking and he turns around, only to walk towards the stairs without even sparing her a glance. 

 _She doesn't even deserve it._  

 _"_ I know I don't deserve your attention right now, Oliver, But it's about Felicity," she relents after taking a breath. 

His eyes snap up instantly, looking up at his mom with trepidation. 

Oliver's chest tightens at her name, and the nerves around his mark stutter with shocks of pain. 

 The expression in his eyes laced with protectiveness, he answers with a terse,  

"What about Felicity?" 

Moira gazes into both of his eyes, seeing the worry he has for this woman, before dropping her head and speaking. 

"I saw her a few weeks ago." she starts. 

His brows  furrow at that, and he's about to speak up because of his impatience, when she continues. 

"I was walking to Starling General a few weeks ago. I had that monthly meeting with the head of hospital because we were going to discuss the finances and the money we donate to them. I saw her walking up the stairs and... she looked pained Oliver. I thought she came for the hospital for whatever reason she was holding her shoulder so tightly... so I let her be."  

"I told the guard to note security to watch her, and went about my meeting. When I left and got home, they sent me the strangest thing, Oliver." She continues. 

Oliver continues to stare at his mother with his eyebrows risen, and they rise further when she takes out for her phone, scrolling through for something. 

"It's very disturbing Oliver. I don't know how to put it into words. It's... it's footage from one of the elevators at Starling Gen. Security told me it happened during my meeting... and I didn't know what to do with it."  

She hands him the phone with unsteady hands, and Oliver takes the phone with a slight hesitance to his actions. He looks at the date blurred on to the video on the bottom left corner,  the date bringing meaning to Felicity's presence at the hospital.  

He presses play with his thumb. 

The video flickers for a second before showing the elevator footage, the camera high on the right corner next to the door. 

He involuntarily takes in a sharp breath at the sight of Felicity.  Her hair tangled in a bun, stray strands falling across the side her face. The MIT sweatshirt she loves, crinkled across her figure. 

But what really takes his breath away, is the look on her face.  

Felicity looks reserved, and a silent confession was etched on all corners on her face. Her eyes were red, tears drying and coming anew. Her soft lips, red, from all the biting he thinks silently. 

She shakes her head slightly, and brings her head up to look at the ceiling and closes her eyes. 

He stares at her in wonder, but his heart soon clenches tightly and his eyes harden when he sees her suddenly, grasping her shoulder for purchase. 

She falls on the floor with a thud, gasping in pain but shutting the sound as soon as she hears it in the air.  

He feels his mark trying to bring him the same pain, and tenses up his shoulders to try and suppress it. 

His ears heat up and his heart thuds in his chest. 

"No." He whispers brokenly. 

He shakes his head slightly, unable to accept the sight before him. 

His throat tightened, seeing her thrash on the floor  

His mouth purses in a firm line as a sob rips through him. He straightens quickly, aware of his mother's eyes on him but startles at the thrashing of Felicity's shoes against the floor again. 

 _I did this? When I was with-_  

He looks down at the date at the bottom right corner of the footage. He didn't know why he did exactly. He knew what the date was. 

The footage cuts off the second after, and he sees his reflection on the phone.  

His eyes are bloodshot, stray tears invading down into his stubble.  

He doesn't know what to do. 

"Oliver?" Moira says, looking down at her feet before eyeing her son again. 

She has a look of realization dawn her face, and then she speaks again.  

"I should have known. Oh, Oliver. I'm so sorry. She's your sou-" 

"Don't finish that sentence." Oliver interrupts with a gruff voice.  

He looks up from the phone and hands it to her. He looks at her, solemnly, the water clear in his eyes.  

To Moira, it seemed like he was thinking about something. He shrugs it off, and presses his palms to his eyes, and drops them a second later.  

"You've done enough, Mother," he whispers. "Right now, I just need you to stay away from me. And especially Felicity. Thank you, for showing me the footage. But it doesn't change what you've done." He continues. 

"Or what I've done." he adds in a small voice. 

She's never seen her son look so... shattered. The color was drained from his face. Ever since he's come back from the island, he's been quieter than before. He's had a reserved look on his face most of the time. And his smiles, they've never showed off his teeth, and his face hasn't creased because of how big it is. 

And she can't help but wonder if all the justice he serves plays a part in it. At first, she thought Felicity was following, trying to figure out who he is, but then when she saw the way she looked at him, she knew it was something different. And she hasn't been able to put it all together until now.  

Felicity is part of it as well. Because she sees his face now. The pain, the self-loathing etched on his face. Watching her scream and writhe on the floor. That doesn't just show up out of nowhere. They must be familiar with each other.  

Close.  

She looks at his tense shoulder, knowing that he must be feeling something where his mark is. 

It's best to give him some space, she thinks. She can feel the turmoil in the air, the thoughts clearly rampaging across his mind.  

Because her beautiful boy needs to fix this on his own. He seemingly has the weight of the world upon his shoulders, and she made it worse with her mistakes. 

She jumps out of her thoughts, shaking her head slightly. 

"I'm sorry, Oliver. I'm going to fix all this with Thea. If not me, then my children deserve to be happy." His mother confessed. 

"I hope you find your way to her." she adds. 

Oliver visibly shakes at the mention of Felicity, and watches his mother take off, further into the house. 

And while he walks up the stairs, he falls further into the hole he thinks he created. 

 _She was thrashing on the floor. Because I was... with Sara. And the Oxycodone I found at the foundry... she must've been using that the whole time for every time. Every time I slept or kissed someone else. Ever since we met. Helena, Laurel, McKenna, Isabel, Sara._  

When he reaches the door to his room, he twists the knob, walking towards his mirror and the desk behind to it. He looks down at the white marbled floor while unbuttoning, and when he finishes, he looks up, glancing at himself before removing his shirt. 

The backwards motion he makes with his arms brings a surge of pain through his shoulder and he grimaces. He keeps his eyes on the flushed skin being revealed at the shirt moving across the top of his right shoulder. The area throbbed, and it takes Oliver a second to know that it only became this inflamed because of the footage he watched earlier.  

Ever since Felicity removed her mark, he's felt... nothing. There used to be a kick, or something from the mark when he needed help the most. It's always been there. Being a silent guide, or giving him a purpose that was unknown.  

Almost like a second conscience. 

 _Most people have one. I'm lucky to have 2, and still stupid enough to fuck up._  

He remembers all the times he's disregarded it, because the pull from both inner voices would obscure the right choice. And the one from the mark would always be the one he  _wish_ he chose. 

Just like in this situation.  

But he didn't know the reason behind the mark's choice. He didn't fucking know that Felicity was in pain every time he had a meaningless fling.  

 _If I just_ _knew.._ _I wouldn't have done it. I didn't want to hurt Felicity. She's so important to me. And there's something there. I knew it from the moment I laid my eyes on her. I_ _just..._ _didn't want ruin her. And then when I found out she was the one, I hated myself even more. Because she doesn't deserve someone like me._  

 _And the pain I caused_ _her.._  

"Fuck!" Oliver roars.  

He turns around in anger and turns his hands into the fists before slamming them on his desk. He slides them outwards, sending the contents of the desk flying. 

He rests his hands on the desk soon after, trying to quell the emotions. Angry tears slip out, along with self-hatred coursing throughout. 

He silences himself, letting the hatred and tears flow out slowly. He picks his head up and looks around, finding his journal along with the mess he created on the floor.  

After picking it up and throwing it on his bed, he heads into the bathroom. He closes the door, removes his sleek, black dress pants, his underwear, and his socks, before stepping into the porcelain tub. He glances at the clock, silently remembering how he has an hour to get to the foundry, before shutting the light and closing the curtain. He turns the shower on, setting it on hot. 

He groans at the water hitting his skin, his muscles instantly relaxing. The water cascades down his abs, flowing freely between the ridges of his muscles. The water reaches the foot of the tub, and he then tilts to the left, letting the water hit his mark directly. He groans once again at the contact, and picks up the bar soap and the loofah. He wets the sponge, and rubs the soap over the fibrous material, before scrubbing his body. He scrubs rigorously, only easing as his hands make their way down. 

When he bends down, the water hits his mark again, and he's reminded of something Felicity said that day, before she told him to leave. 

 _"Felicity, please. I'm so,_ _so sorry. I didn't_ _kno_ _-_ _" Oliver begged._  

 _"I can't do this anymore Oliver. I'm tired of it. O_ _f giving myself up to someone. Like an idiot. Because I'm not first to anyone. I never was._ _I'm still going to help you save the city. It's not just your crusade anymore." Felicity says_ _._  

 _Oliver tries to speak again, but Felicity continues._  

 _"And one more thing." She mumbles._  

 _"The mark... since I took it off... I won't feel anything if you...you know. The doctor told me there were two separate links. One that connected me to you, and one for you, and it only the two only became_ _one if..."_  

 _Felicity_ _stops_ _,_ _looking down at her feet. She rubs them against her carpet, only now noticing deep emerald shade._  

 _"It's probably best you remove yours as well._ _So_ _you don't get-_ _" Felicity directed, choosing not to finish her last sentence._  

 _When she looks up, she finds Oliver removing his eyes from the palms of his hands after rubbing them._  

 _The silence that stretched after held a weight. A conversation with their eyes. It was still a connection they had. Mark or not. Felicity didn't want to tell him why, and for good reason. It was obvious. And even after Oliver did all of this, she still didn't want him to have the same pain as she did._  

 _"Okay." Oliver says with a slight uptick of his lips. He can't say anything now that'll make her listen. Because she's right. Except for one thing._  

 _He stands up, rubbing away the remnants from his cheeks one last time, before walking to the front door._  

 _He turns around, facing her one more time._  

 _"You're wrong about one thing though. And I'm going to prove it. I can't do it now, and I know what I did is unforgivable, but if there's one thing that you taught me, it's hope. And I have hope that you'll believe me when you're ready to hear me out._ _"_  

 

 

* * *

 

 

And he does have hope. That she'll forgive him. But the distance, he thought he could handle it. 

 _I'm such an idiot._  

But she acknowledged all of it. And she put the distance in this time. Not him. 

And he knows how much it hurts.  

He's going to work to get it all back. He'll crouch in front of her chair and beg if he needs to. Because she needs to know that he didn't know about the pain, about how he wouldn't even come near another woman if he knew. 

 _I was just trying to keep her safe_ _, he thinks as he turns off the shower head._  

Distance seemed like the logical option.  

Before. 

But now, he knows. 

He knows that he needs to keep her close. To shower her with everything he's been keeping inside him for so long. Because she needs it. 

 _I do too._  

She's not an option. 

She's a priority. 

She's the one that saw the light in him when no one else did. And he can't just let it go because of his stupid mistakes. 

But how is he going to mend what he broke? 

And where does he start? 

                                       

                 

* * *

 

 

 

He shifts nervously, the grief subsiding temporarily at the thought of seeing her again. He gets off his motorcycle, the sweat on his palms irritating him more than usual. He knows that she'll probably give him a swift glance (he's hoping he at least uses her voice). 

 _Should I tell her everything right now? Or at least, that I didn't remove my mark?_  

"No. What the hell am I thinking?" He mutters as he puts in the passcode to the foundry. 

The metal door clicks open, and after he walks down the stairs, he finds Felicity engrossed in her work.  

He looks at her, his eyes working through whatever he could see, since she was sitting down.  

Her blonde, silky hair, tied in her signature high ponytail. He could see the ends of her glasses standing atop of her ears, and he tilts his head slightly to the side out of instinct. 

And he was right. 

She was biting her lip. Her red, smooth lipstick covered them, and her bottom one disappeared into her mouth. And he couldn't take his eyes off of it. 

 _God she's beautiful._ _I can't even see her fully and I know she is._  

 _And she probably doesn't even know I'm here right now._  

 _Maybe it's best that I don't_ _jumpscare_ _her, I'll just wait till Digg-_  

"Hey Ollie!" A voice behind him says 

He closes his eyes at the nickname, quick on his feet not to draw attention to who he was looking at.  

Because the last thing he wanted was Felicity to know that he was staring at her while she was working. 

Or maybe he did. 

 _What?_  

He turns around, facing Sara. He watches Felicity at the corner of his eye also turn around, in surprise, he assumes. 

He looks at his feet at the awkward silence, before remembering that Sara said Hi. 

"Hi Sara." He speaks. He then looks down at Felicity in the chair. 

"Felicity." He says in a soft tone and with a small nod. 

Oliver stares at her and finds her looking at him intently. She looks into his eyes, and it seems like her eyes are about to ask a question. But she changes her expression immediately and crunches her face slightly, before closing her eyes, shaking her head, and looking up with her mouth pursed into a firm line. 

"Hey Oliver." She says. They lock each other down with their eyes, Sara watching awkwardly, when John's footsteps echo. 

He breaks the silence that follows with a clap on Oliver's shoulder, smiling at Felicity before walking over to the big screen to the left of Felicity's main setup.  

"So what's on the agenda Felicity?" He says as he flicks his hands through the screen. 

"Yeah, right." She mutters as she turns around to her computer, peeling her eyes from Oliver. 

"So, there's been a bunch of bank heists these past few weeks, and I thought it was just something ordinary, until it wasn't. These heists were actually very high guarded, and the thieves seemed to be avoiding every security precaution with ease. I figured it was better to look into them earlier, and someone bigger is behind them. I haven't been able to figure out exactly who, but it seems like this guy, or woman, has a pretty good knowledge of what they're doing on the computer." Felicity voiced. 

"I triangulated a possible bank they would target next, and I'm trying to track this person's footprints. So, you guys check that out, while I see if I can get a name for this possible genius. 

"Okay then, suit up." John says before walking to the back of the foundry. 

Oliver exchanges a glance with Sara, before she walks to the back as well.  

 _What just happened?_  

"Sara," Oliver calls her back. 

She turns around with a question in her looks and brings up her eyebrows. 

"My mom's throwing you a welcome back party, and she wants you and your parents to come. And before you say something else, it's a Queen family tradition apparently. Whatever that means." He says with a small smile. 

"You should tell your Dad. I'm sure my mom told him already. And you have to try with Laurel, Sara." He continues slowly. 

Sara furrows her eyebrows. 

"How did you know I would sa-, Never mind. You're right. You're going to be there right?" She asks. 

Oliver takes a deep breath, and glances at Felicity. 

 _I can't ask her to come. What would she even_ _say_ _? Do I even have the_ _right?_  

He rolls his eyes at his thoughts, and spares his eyes a second more before turning back and giving Sara a nod. 

"I'll be there." 

 

 

* * *

 

 

He sits on the steps, head in his hands. 

 _What is she doing up there?_  

When they came back from their lead, Felicity was gone. Panic bubbled up from inside, and he turned around to Digg when he couldn't find her, but Diggle assured her she was safe. 

 _"She went upstairs to the club, Oliver. She said she was hanging out with some friends. You know Felicity, it's about time she got a break for herself. I'm surprised she just started hanging out with her friends."_  

He was going to talk to John about her, ask him where to start. Because he doesn't know where to. How does he get her to forgive him? Respect him again? Trust him again? 

But he didn't. John was getting ready to leave, and he was pretty sure he would only get angrier at himself because of whatever he said. 

He needs a cool head for this. 

 _What do I do? Where do I start?_  

He hears the rumbling noises coming from upstairs, the music playing and he can almost imagine all the people there swaying to it.  

His thoughts stray away to what Felicity's doing there.  

 _Maybe with a nice guy._   

His stomach drops at the thought, and suddenly he feels nauseous.     

 _Checking up on her won't hurt. Right?_  

Ignoring his other side once again, he stands up cautiously. 

He grabs onto the railing, easing the spinning of his head by grounding himself. 

He starts on the first steps, when his mark stings out of nowhere.  

But it doesn't feel familiar.  

Because it wasn't. It was different than all the other times. 

His eyes widen at his next thought. 

 _What if she's really hurt this time? What if someone else is hurting her?_  

It spurs him into action. He jumps the steps, running towards the door. 

He can feel it. 

A part of him is relieved. Because he kept the mark to stay connected to her. And he can take the physical pain. 

If it means it'll take him to her. 

So he runs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO. I don't think I've ever done a cliffhanger like that (or one at all. At least this is what I constitute as a cliff), but damn was it fun to write. Next chapter will definitely not take a month and a half. 
> 
>  
> 
> COMMENTS PLEASE OH AND YOU GUYS CAN TALK TO ME ABOUT COMICCON IF YOU WANT IM A SUCKER FOR ALL THE JUICY TALK


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